Joe is yelling at the trees again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
