my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
