Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
