Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
