i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
