Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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