Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
false alarm. still invincible.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
two words...techno handjob
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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