"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
