My first STD was from a foam party
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
