Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
