Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
