Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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