you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
