fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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