We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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