Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
