Buhtt sex?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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