Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
