I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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