that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
