Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
