I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
