I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
