i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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