It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
