if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
