i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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