I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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