There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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