Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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