people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
