So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize