Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
