is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sex in a hospital.. check
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
