I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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