on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you made out with another girl for some wings
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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