I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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