So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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