I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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