Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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