Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
