By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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