i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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