He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
