i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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