you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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