That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
