So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize