I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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