he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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