Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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