Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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