so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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