My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
